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witchpop:

*announces my pregnancy at your funeral to shift the attention around to me*

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xcassiekilla:

minigator:

when people are like “omg i love your curly hair, how do you get it to loo like that?”

step one: wash hair

step two: hope for the best

LITERALLY

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babyferaligator:

sighprincess:

What are some cool sex positions

standing at the ATM handin me all ur money

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plantvibes:

cute date idea: let me sleep in your bed for hours on end because I’m tired of being a person

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nicocacolaaa:

spookyspiders:

" money cant solve all your problems "

yes it can

money would legitimately solve the majority of my problems right now, yes

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queerdontfear:

I’m sorry, but if lesbians can control themselves in a girls only changing room with ass naked woman waltzing around. Then I figure men should be able to control them selves with clothed girls walking down the street. Just a thought.

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aintralph:

I’m excited for the near future when black womens’ big chops will be like 10 years in the past and their hair is down their backs or look like brown clouds floating like magic and they glistening in the sun with their manes, saturated in butters and oils and shit… The future is looking so sweet man.

*rubs hands like Birdman*

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