officialannakendrick:

life may be rough but boobs are really really soft

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captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

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sextpert:

damn girl you must have 67 protons because you a Ho

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newyorkerz:

when the woman at McDonald’s says there’s going to be a 3 minute wait on the chicken McNuggets

me:  i came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

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