cetaceas:

*hears child crying* *takes birth control*

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College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”

"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via infelicific)

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tupacmadaddy:

Look here you hoe ass nigga 😒

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officialannakendrick:

life may be rough but boobs are really really soft

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captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

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