sugarrette:

fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me

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I’ll buy you Victoria’s Secret just to rip it off ya.

littlesappho:

Yes, please. I’ll have some of that.

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thirstingaintdead:

Thick everything. Thick thighs, thick eyebrows, thick lips. Thick maple syrup on my pancakes, thick everything.

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  • Satan:[appears]
  • Satan:You can have anything you wan--
  • Me:LANGUAGE.
  • Satan:What?
  • Me:GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
  • Satan:What the--?
  • Me:YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
  • Satan:Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
  • Me:EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.
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getwetforme:

I want to have cuddles with you.

And by cuddles I mean sex.

But by sex I also mean cuddles.

But I also mean pizza.

And sex.

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Because alcohol tastes better than tears.

Six Word Story (via icekq)
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